Shakespeare paragraph

Once my older brother Justin visited me on my birthday were always acting so childish its like a cherry pit. My mom doesn't always clip of the way we act but its always fun to see him. They 'cided to play a joke on me by smashing my head into the cake, but i had raveled what they were planning and didn't let it happen. I thought it was Bale of them to try such a thing, I referred to him a Barbason.

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

I think that this means that (you are not even clean enough for me to spit on).